The challenge of helping every athlete feel worthy is a difficult one. Adults must find a way for every athlete to experience success in an environment in which actual winners are few and losers are many. The basic problem is that young athletes learn from coaches, teammates, and parents to gauge their self-worth largely by whether they win or lose. The devastating result is that athletes then feel they can only maintain their sense of self-worth by wining.
Some adults also teach young athletes to believe they are entirely responsible for winning or losing a game. This is certainly incorrect. Wining or losing are determined by many factors, not only the play of any one athlete, but also the play of teammates and opponents, officials' calls, and luck.
So when young people learn to evaluate their self-worth according to winning and losing, they do so on the basis of something they do not entirely control. This can lead to athletes' taking credit for success and blame for failure when they are not entirely responsible for either one. Consequently, the most important thing you can do as a parent is to help your child use a different yardstick for success.
Success for an athlete must be seen in terms of exceeding personal goals rather than surpassing the performance of others.
Winning is important, but it becomes secondary to an athlete's striving to achieve personal goals. In baseball, personal goals might include such things as making good contact with the ball when batting, fielding balls correctly, throwing accurately to the base.
By learning to focus on personal goals, goals related to behaviors he or she has control over, your child is much more likely to be successful, regardless of the outcome of a game. The important thing for you here is to help your athlete set realistic goals, for doing so ensures a reasonable degree of success. Given all the competitive pressures and peer influence young athletes face, it is you and the coach who must help your child set realistic goals.
When you help your child set realistic goals, she or he will likely experience more success and feel more competent. By becoming more competent, a child gains confidence and can learn skills of moderate difficulty without fearing failure. So you can see that setting realistic goals robs failure of its threat. Rather than indicating that athletes are not worthy, failure indicates they should try harder.
De-emphasize winning reemphasize the attainment of personal goals. This principle is the key to enhancing your young athlete's feelings of self-worth.
© Copyright 1993, Human Kinetics Publishers, Inc
Some adults also teach young athletes to believe they are entirely responsible for winning or losing a game. This is certainly incorrect. Wining or losing are determined by many factors, not only the play of any one athlete, but also the play of teammates and opponents, officials' calls, and luck.
So when young people learn to evaluate their self-worth according to winning and losing, they do so on the basis of something they do not entirely control. This can lead to athletes' taking credit for success and blame for failure when they are not entirely responsible for either one. Consequently, the most important thing you can do as a parent is to help your child use a different yardstick for success.
Success for an athlete must be seen in terms of exceeding personal goals rather than surpassing the performance of others.
Winning is important, but it becomes secondary to an athlete's striving to achieve personal goals. In baseball, personal goals might include such things as making good contact with the ball when batting, fielding balls correctly, throwing accurately to the base.
By learning to focus on personal goals, goals related to behaviors he or she has control over, your child is much more likely to be successful, regardless of the outcome of a game. The important thing for you here is to help your athlete set realistic goals, for doing so ensures a reasonable degree of success. Given all the competitive pressures and peer influence young athletes face, it is you and the coach who must help your child set realistic goals.
When you help your child set realistic goals, she or he will likely experience more success and feel more competent. By becoming more competent, a child gains confidence and can learn skills of moderate difficulty without fearing failure. So you can see that setting realistic goals robs failure of its threat. Rather than indicating that athletes are not worthy, failure indicates they should try harder.
De-emphasize winning reemphasize the attainment of personal goals. This principle is the key to enhancing your young athlete's feelings of self-worth.
© Copyright 1993, Human Kinetics Publishers, Inc
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